The experience of childbirth made me grow up a lot. After my son was born, it was my mother who brought him to me. I took one look at him, just as I did his brother years later, and began to consider what type of life they would lead. I thought about whom they were and who they would become. I dreamed for them. I hoped for them. I held them in my arms and I visualized the life they would live and the lives they would touch. Would they become doctors, lawyers, teachers? Or would they be dropouts living on welfare. When I looked at them, I counted more than fingers and toes, I counted the people they would become some day.
I realized that everything concerning them depended on the sermon that my life would preach. Each scripture would be written by the words I spoke, the experiences I encountered, and the circumstances I overcame. As each chapter unfolded I was determined it would have a happy ending. Their births were the Genesis and if Revelation was to end triumphantly, I needed to be their savior here on Earth.
During the birth of my sons, as always my mother was right there. Curled up in the corner of the room I could see her face from the corner of my eye. It was wrinkled up like a prune as she stood grunting with each grueling push that I made.
We made eye contact, but we never said a word. We didn’t have to. Her face said it all. Her calling to the ministry of motherhood had come full circle. Her baby was now having a baby. Her display of love on this day was like a sermon. It’s title, unconditional love. This message would stay with me all the days of my life.
My mother has always been a special person. She remarried when I was seven years old, but she always took full responsibility for my sister and me. The thing I love most about her is her faith in God. I loved sitting beside her and listening to her tell stories about her childhood and the Bible when I was a little girl. I know most of them by heart. When she tells a story she always has a captive audience. It’s at these moments her strength and faith are at their best. Through her, I learned of her life struggles and disappointments. I learned why she believed God no matter what. Her faith is the foundation I stood on when I became a mother. It is the foundation I stand on now. My Mama’s faith is the weapon that I have learned to use. I cling to it when life gets hard. Without faith and my Mama, who knows where I’d be.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Everyday Is Mother's Day with APOOO Book Club
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Will He Ever Propose?
I moved in with my boyfriend shortly after we started dating. I thought we'd be engaged and married very soon after that. I was wrong. Instead, we lived together for over four years, without ever getting married. He told me that he was comfortable with our arrangement and lost his burning desire to put that ring on my finger because he had everything a marriage brings, except no piece of paper or ring between us. I finally broke up with him, because I knew he'd never marry me. It was difficult, but I think if we had not lived together, things might have worked out differently.
We hate to say it ladies, but we all know someone who has lived with a man for several years with the promise of marriage only to learn that the man has no intentions of marriage. To make matters worse, our friends meet up with their former man a few months later and he reports he is either married or getting married. What's wrong with this picture? Women what the hell are you thinking?
Grandmama used to say, "Why should he buy the cow if the milk is free?" Good question.
Ladies we teach people how to treat us. We must learn to set boundaries in our relationships. If we always do what we've always done, then we'll always get what we've always got.
Honor and respect yourselves. Stop living with these men that have no intention of marrying you now or ever. At least set some ground rules for the relationship. You can do bad all by yourself. It's not the end of the world to be alone.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Meet Author Demonica Gladney
How important is being able to hear God's voice to the waiting process? In order to understand what God is speaking to you during the waiting process, you must know how he reveals His promises and be able to hear His voice. It is critical that you hear God’s voice because He will give you clear instructions while you wait. If you don’t know His voice, you won’t know what He is speaking concerning your situation. If you don’t know what He is saying, you may struggle with which direction He is leading you in. The anointing is on God’s instructions, so you have to be able to hear from Him.
How does one know when God is speaking to them? God is always speaking to us, but we’re not always tuned in to His frequency because of our selective hearing. We tend to hear what we want to hear, and everything else seems to fall on deaf ears. You must spend time with God and get to know Him, so you know when He is speaking to you. He may speak to you in different ways, so don’t always expect Him to speak the same way every time. You may open up your Bible and turn to a particular scripture, and God will speak to you. He may also reveal His promises to you in a vision or dream or speak directly to your spirit. Keep your spiritual ears open, so you can hear God when He speaks.
How does one prepare themselves to receive what God has promised them? Preparation is an essential step in God’s waiting process and involves you getting ready for the things He has promised you. You must prepare now, so you’ll be ready to receive the promise when it comes. Whether you are waiting on God for the new job or house, a financial breakthrough, divine healing, children or a mate, you have to be willing to prepare for your blessings. Once God reveals the promise to you, it’s up to you to do what’s necessary to get ready for it. You must take your focus off of what you’re waiting on and put your focus on God. Trust God and be assured that he will release your promise to you at His appointed time. Get ready, get ready, get ready!
Walking by faith can be difficult, particularly if you feel that life has always been unfair. How do you continue to walk in the midst of what seems to be a never ending road of trials? Walking by faith is a necessity for those going through God’s waiting process. It’s impossible to please God without faith, so you must learn to walk by faith regardless of your situation. Don’t be moved by what you see with your natural eyes, but hold on to what God has already revealed to you. You can’t focus on your present situation but on your future blessings. The trying of your faith works patience, so the trials that you go through will help you to wait on God. When you walk by faith, what you believe is what you get even if you don’t see it yet.
How do you come to know and understand your purpose in God? While you’re waiting on God’s promises, you must seek Him about your purpose. Instead of asking God, “Why am I going through this?” you should be asking Him, “Why am I here?” Whatever you’re gifted to do and have a passion for is usually tied to your purpose. Since God created you, He is the only One who knows your true purpose. Once He reveals your purpose to you, it’s up to you to walk in it by faith. If He called you to do something, He has already equipped you with everything you need to fulfill your purpose. You must understand your purpose because it will determine the intended direction for your life.
I firmly believe that we have the power of life and death in our own tongues. What are some of the affirmations that we can repeat daily to bring about God's will for our lives? Whatever you’re waiting on God for and regardless of how bad your situation may look like, you have to speak to your circumstances and command the mountains in your life to move. You can frame your world with the confessions that come out of your mouth. Some examples of scriptural confessions for your daily life include: 1) If you feel overwhelmed - “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13); 2) If you feel depressed - “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God…” (Romans 8:28); and 3) If you feel weary – “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). It’s way you say that counts.
How does one embrace the process of waiting? God uses the waiting process to prepare you for the blessings that He has in store for you. You may feel like you’re waiting on God, but He may actually be waiting on you. When you seek God about whatever you’re waiting on, He may tell you to wait because he knows you are not ready to receive it yet. In order to prepare yourself, you must choose to embrace “your” waiting process. This means that you will not fight the process, but rather you will yield to it. You have to look at the man/woman in the mirror and by do a self-evaluation. Be honest about the issues in your life that are holding you back. You may need to work on your attitude, deal with your insecurities, be healed emotionally or be delivered from your past.
What's next for DeMonica Gladney? I plan to continue writing inspirational, non-fiction books, and it’s my dream to eventually write full-time. I plan to write a series of companion books to Willing to Wait, such as Willing to Wait for Couples, Willing to Wait for Singles, and Willing to Wait for Teens. I am currently working on my next book, Identify Theft: Discovering the Real You, which will be an inspirational, self-help book for those who want to walk in their “true identity” by understanding God’s purpose and destiny for their lives. Identity Theft is scheduled for release in Spring 2009.
How can our readers contact you and purchase your book? My book is available directly from New Horizon Publishers (www.newhorizonpublishers.com) and wherever fine books are sold, including local bookstores such as Barnes and Noble, Borders, and ExhibitHOPE Christian Bookstores and online bookstores such as www.Amazon.com, www.Barnesandnoble.com and www.BlackCBD.com.
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Why are there so many single mothers?
I will be a guest blogger on The Savvy Sister the week of May 4th. Trying to check out the kinds of items that are included on this site, I ran across the following question and response. Needless to say, I had something to say about this. Please read and add your comments.
Ladies, there’s a growing trend that I’m concerned with at the present time. There’s a growing number of African American SINGLE mothers on the scene. What is really going on? Why do you think these men can give you a baby, but not a ring? Is it the men or is it the men that you are choosing?
What do you think is the real reason so many sistas are unmarried (with a kid or kids)? I would of course love to hear the opinions of my single moms………. Please enlighten The Player.
A response from anonymous
It may not be whether or not they want to put a ring on our finger. We may not want to accept the ring because of who's offering it.
Shit happens. I know shit happened to me. I never intended to get pregnant but it happened with rubbers in play. My baby daddy is just that, my baby's daddy. Had my son not came about he would have no title in my life AT ALL. He offered to go the route of being in a committed relationship but I saw no purpose. He had already shown me he wasn't about much so WHY would I want somebody like that to put a ring on my finger? Women need to just make sure we always use protection. Cause these men out here are scandalous. I can count three men that have since told me that they intentionally tried to get me preganint. That was some scandalous bullshit if I ever heard some. Player you aint got kids? And if you do, why didn't you put a ring your baby momma's finger?
My response
Ladies,
Why are you giving Single player or any man for that matter all the power and all the responsibility. Anonymous, you have already said that your "baby's daddy" wasn't about much, so why did you sleep with him in the first place.
Listen,there are so many single mama's out here because we refuse to acknowledge the red flags when we see them. Some of us believe that a piece of man is better than no man. Still others of us believe that we can change the man.
Stop giving men all the credit for the situations that we find ourselves in. The bottom line is, no one held a gun to our heads when we slept with these men. (at least I hope not) Most of us went into the bedroom with our eyes open. If, you sleep with someone without protection, a baby can be the end result.Even if you use protection that fails,knowing that the man is already a loser and sleeping with him anyway, Hmm who's the real loser. Ladies you are smarter than that. Your poor choices are not the man's fault.
Let's be real, take responsibility for our actions and move on. If, you want to change the trend, change yor choices. Remember that your body is a temple. Don't give it away to anybody
